Posted in Parenting Advice on May 15th, 2010
Often when I work with parents, they want me to help them control their child’s negative behaviors. Their focus is on learning methods for “fixing” the behaviors that they don’t like and see as socially unacceptable. We’ve all been there. When helping parents see through a new lens, I often ask them “When you have [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice, Single Parenting on May 2nd, 2010
I never would have thought the best parenting I’ve done could be seen, by some parenting experts, as the worst. Whew, does that make sense at all? I continue to notice situations where I’ve had the least agenda is where my daughter is thriving. An example is bed time. My daughter has never been given [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice, Single Parenting on Apr 25th, 2010
This week I’ve noticed, when having an agenda, my daughter, simply refuses to engage. Today, coming in from the grocery, I asked her to unload one of the bags. I’d taken her to lunch, bought her a sweet treat and driven her to a friend’s house so I thought asking her to unload one little [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Apr 17th, 2010
My daughter just learned to braid her hair. Yesterday she was able to do it, to her liking, and was very proud of herself. This morning she woke up, trying to repeat the braid and wasn’t able to do it. In her frustration, she yelled at me, to come help her. I was in the [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Apr 13th, 2010
When my daughter exhibits a behavior, which causes me discomfort, I often contract in fear. When this happens I box myself in and instead of reaching out to support my daughter, in that moment, I can only think about myself. My attention turns inward and I see her as the enemy. I’m sure she is [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Apr 2nd, 2010
Today, I found myself picking up one of my favorite books, The Journey by Arnold Patent. I opened to the page on Self-Validation. “Self-validation means accepting, appreciating and loving myself unconditionally as whole and complete just the way I am. The signal that I have not reached that place is when I look for someone [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Mar 30th, 2010
Yesterday, my daughter, asked me to get something for her I didn’t want to get. What I found myself doing, instead of just saying no, was telling her, “I’m not the servant around here,” or “I just did so and so for you a minute ago.” I kept defending my “no” by making her feel [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Mar 25th, 2010
From the first moment our child gazes into our eyes, she/he connects us with love. They depend on seeing the loving look in our eyes to feed their souls. When we focus on seeing them through the lens of judgment or fear they begin to see this inside themselves. I was suggesting a new dance [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Mar 22nd, 2010
I love when Spring is right around the corner. In Colorado we jump from 60 degrees days to the next waking to snow and rain. It’s an amazingly volatile time when I get to experience my tendency of wanting things to stay the same. Today was a sunny, warm beautiful day. Tonight the snow is [...]
Posted in Joy Based Parenting, Parenting Advice on Mar 16th, 2010
When we are centered and seeing clearly we are neutral, in our response, to our child’s behavior. When we are having a strong reaction, either positive or negative we have swung to one pole or another. Think about sitting in a swing and getting ready to push off. You push yourself back, letting go, and [...]
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