Imparting values, to my daughter, can be tricky business. Often I see the discrepancies about what I say I believe is valuable and what I truly live. I am a firm believer, in theory, of only doing what you love for money. I strive to live out of the saying, “follow your bliss and the money will come.” I’ve often expressed this to my daughter and today I got a challenge to see if this is true.

My daughter is excited about saving her money for an ipad. She was offered a job, working with my neighbor, in his garden which she loves. He told me he’s never seen a kid who loves gardening as much as she does. She comes home, everyday with a smile on her face and some money in her pocket. She is so thrilled that she asked to start a savings account and can hardly wait until her new deposit slips come.

Well, sure enough, I got excited with her and started thinking of all the ways she could make money! Now, remember I’m the one who has told her to do what she loves and the money will come. When a friend asked her to babysit, she said “NO” because she didn’t enjoy it. Then when the neighbor asked her if she wanted to take out his trash and re-cycling (we live in co-housing so she would have to carry it a ways) for $5, she politely said “NO”.

Now before I knew it I heard myself saying, “I thought you wanted money for an ipad?” Then I saw my neighbor and he said, “I was offering her $5 for 20 minutes of work”. The light bulb went on and I looked at him and said, “yes, but she would be doing it only for the money. I’ve taught her to do what she loves and the money will come.” He turned toward me and said, “yea, I still haven’t gotten that one.” I thought to myself, maybe I haven’t either.

Practice: Think about a value you have that you want to impart to your child. See if your actions actually support this value or if you are only giving it lip service. Have fun with this one and maybe, like me, you might enjoy following your own advice.

Being a parent can sometimes be demanding and require us to give more than we receive.
Getting stuck in thinking we are only giving can keep us from receiving the gifts our child has to offer.

When I think it is up to me, to keep all the balls in the air, I forget to stop and receive all my daughter has to give. I can focus on how demanding she is and how much I do for her. Slowing down and moving into a more receptive mode, I begin to open to the gifts she is so generously sharing with me.

Today, we worked hard on cleaning up her room. Now from my giving voice, I could tell you I was the only one giving. Most of the time she was just playing and watching. When I open to the receiving voice I will tell you how sweet it was to be with her, how her joy and enthusiasm filled me with delight and how grateful I am she still lets me in her room.

She just walked up the stairs and said, “I love my room.” Ahhhhhhh!

Practice: Today, write down all the gifts your child or children bring you. See even the difficult aspects they offer, in a new light. Remember, our children are always offering us their love, even when we can’t see it as such.

Think about the last time you saw a new puppy….Remember, when your child was little and saw their first puppy? Watch a video of a puppy licking a little one and experience the joy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-5_SW9zh2w&feature=related

The innocence we experience when love is given freely is always available. It opens our hearts and penetrates even the strongest barriers. For a moment, we remember our tenderness and return to our ground of being, “love”. We forget our struggles and see the reflection of our innocent playful self. Our hearts open, and we give back. Amazing.

This ground of being, “love”, is always present and yet we often cover it with our worries and fears. Especially, as a parent, I find it is easier to focus on all my worries and desires to protect my daughter instead of seeing through the eyes of love. When I’m able to see the innocence in her behaviors instead of focusing on the fear, I’m able to open and embrace a tenderness which holds her in a loving way.

When I’m tight and fearful, I might see her actions as threatening or trying to manipulate me in some way. Innocence is nowhere to be found and in my tightness I want to tighten down on her.

Remembering her playful puppy nature allows me to hold this truth of who she truly is even when she forgets.

Practice: Today, find your playful puppy nature and see how the world appears. Try going out in the world, figuratively licking everyone you see, and watch your heart open. Be the role model for your child and enjoy the fun.