We came into the world helpless and totally dependent on our caregivers to attend to our young needs. Each time we reached out our precious young arms we were met with either a tender loving smile and our vulnerable needs were met or our caregiver turned away claiming we were too demanding and taught us to take care of ourselves before we were ready. When our fragile young hearts felt the denial of our innocent needs we began to turn on ourselves naively seeing our precious desires as wrong or bad. As the toxic shame entered our immature emotional body every time we felt a need arising we began to form a sense of ourselves as somehow “not good enough” for we desperately needed those who we depended on to see us as “more than enough” just for being alive.
Little did we know our parents had been shamed for their unguarded desire and each time we held out our trusting arms we awakened a shame inside them which overtook their unbridled desire to meet us with unconditional love. Now, it is our turn as parents to awaken to our true desire to be seen and to see our child’s desires as vital as the breath we breathe. For as we awaken our raw passionate desire to see a “better” world for our children we can finally STOP shaming ourselves and our children for extending their arms in the name of love. We can learn to open to their limitless dreams extending our hand offering to give what we can and support them to empower themselves to find the rest. Let’s stop the SHAME once and for all.