When we entered the world as young innocent babes we were dependent on the protection and guidance of our caregivers. Emotional warmth was critical as we expressed our desires and slowly began to interact with our environment.
When our innocent needs awakened a fear in our caregivers and hi-lighted their lack they often turned away when we needed them the most. As they contracted, fear awakened in us and we became paralyzed to reach out and ask for what we needed. Without a safe base to return to we began to contract our BIG desires and became small to create safety internally.
As our children enter the world our hearts are blown open as we witness the precious newborn we are entrusted to care for and nurture. We commit with all our heart to stay open and available to this precious being.
And yet, as the days wear on and we lack sleep and a safe base to express our feelings we begin to withdraw as we learned to do as a child. As we enter the core of our being we find pain and suffering which play out in our parenting. The guilt and shame threaten to overwhelm us driving us to abandon the relationship and instead relying on controlling our child’s behavior in hopes it will end the suffering.
Gently, turning towards the innocent one inside and bathing her in kindness, as the door to our repressed feeling is blown open, is the way back home. As we begin to rest in the knowledge that we will show up for the innocent one inside we will begin to show up for our children in a new way, relating to their pain with open arms and the breath of kindness.