As a child, you were a victim of your parents limitations. When you weren’t able to get your needs met you couldn’t just walk out and get new parents or say, “this isn’t working for me.”
When trying to express yourself, in ways that your parents deemed inappropriate, you were punished and labeled as rude, mean, selfish, or defiant. To compensate, you made yourself wrong or bad and aggressed on your neediness. You didn’t have a choice.
Stepping into our adult roles, we often continue this pattern by positioning as a victim to our child’s behavior. When triggered, we feel like that young child again who didn’t have choices and couldn’t get their needs met. We forget that as adults, we always have choices.
Sometimes we don’t like the available choices, since it requires us to face feeling selfish, abandoning, rejecting, or unsupportive of our children if we make a choice.
But we always have choices.
In our adult stance, we can take care of ourselves. We aren’t trapped like we were as children. This realization brings us out of victim mentality and into emotional maturity.
As adults, we can always make a change when needed.
We are not victims, we are powerful creators. Our super power is choice.
Listen to podcast Ep. 36 “Are Your Kids Out to Get YOU?”