My desire for this was HUGE, and yet I didn’t have a clue how to create harmony inside so my outside always seemed to be in chaos. As a new mom, I aligned with the view that it was important to attune to my child’s emotional needs so I naively opened to her emotions and internal state. I was sure I was doing the “right” thing.
What I didn’t take into account was the intensity awakened inside when I attuned to the intimacy of the moment. As my daughter entered feelings of powerlessness, because she wanted something and couldn’t get it, I too experienced feeling powerless. I was definitely attuned and yet I’d spent most of my life organizing not to feel powerless and like her, I wanted what I wanted which was for her to behave. As panic and confusion arose I leaned into my early learned strategies of powering over when I felt powerless. When that didn’t work I collapsed and handed the power over to my young daughter. Honestly, I was in the weeds.
As my distress grew I tried fixing, changing, avoiding, or repressing my feelings of powerlessness. When I couldn’t manipulate my internal experience I turned on my daughter and was determined to fix, change or command her to control herself creating a very unstable base for her to experience emotional safety.
Even though I longed to create emotional stability and harmony the first step was to establish it inside instead of trying to control the outside.
Let’s practice together: The first step is to courageously commit to intimately meeting your internal experience. Attuning to your child’s emotional state pause while meeting yours tenderly and kindly. Creating stability through your heart allows the experience of staying connected with the present moment. (Download the SafeSeat process for further support)
Miraculously, you’ll recognize stability is inherent, and taking the time to turn towards the feelings you’ll gloriously ride the waves showing up empowered and alive offering your child the emotional stability you’ve longed to give.