When do you feel most valued in your relationships? Is it when another makes space for your opinions, thoughts, ideas and truly shows interest in who you are?
Often with our children we take up most of the space with our opinions, thoughts, ideas and wanting to be listened too. So, can you imagine how your child might feel when they try to share and you need to be “right” or in control? Hmmmmm!
Standing in the position of the “all knowing one” puts us in the position of needing to be “right” which often forces our child into the position of being “wrong”. We often think we know what is best for them and yet do we really? Maybe, we know what is best for us, which is for our children to do what we say, when we say it and do it with a smile on their face.
It’s easy to forget that our child is a separate being with different thoughts, ideas and values, especially when we feel insecure in our parenting. Needing to be the authority gives us a certain sense of power which often mask our feeling powerless and doubt in whether we are doing it right or not.
If feeling emotionally threatened by your child’s differences you may find yourself criticizing and shaming them for their difference instead of honoring their unique brilliance. Slowing down and recognizing the value in seeing your child as a separate being with their own likes and dislikes is empowering in the long run. It makes space to support them in knowing themselves while also giving you the space to honor yourself.
Showing your child that they bring great value to your life is supportive in building their self-esteem and feeling like they matter.
This week, notice when your child does something that adds value to your life and let them know. See if you notice a little twinkle in their eye as you recognize their brilliance.