It’s hard to honor your child if you weren’t honored in your own family.
As a child, your parents may not have been able to receive you as your full self. Instead, they would pick and choose which parts of you made them comfortable.
When I became a parent, I carried this pattern with me. I wanted to honor my daughter and yet my actions kept revealing something different.
I found myself judging her and only valuing certain expressions. I wanted her to only exhibit traits that I saw as “good” and not any that I saw as “bad.” I was only willing to value one side of her expression.
If she wouldn’t get off the computer, I saw her as addicted. If she wouldn’t do what I asked, I saw her as rejecting. When she asked for something, I saw her as demanding. When she wouldn’t share with friends, I saw her as selfish and rude.
At the time, I didn’t realize that this was just a reflection of the way I saw myself.
What I had rejected in myself, I also rejected in my daughter.
Slowly, I began to realize that if I was ever going to truly honor my daughter, I would have to honor ALL of me as well.
Each day, I took tiny steps towards loving all the parts of me that I had hidden away in order to be more acceptable to my parents. It was NOT comfortable, but I tenderly welcomed them home, giving them each a seat at the table.
As I did, something miraculous happened. I was finally able to honor my daughter.
Listen to podcast Ep. 32 “Honoring the Child in You”