When our children ask for what they want they are exercising the “I want” muscle. This is the beginning of dreaming and opening to the limitless possibilities available to them in our abundant world.
I like to ask parents, “who took them into Toys-R-Us the first time?” Can you imagine being 2 years old and walking in thinking this whole store is for me? They practically run down the aisles ecstatic, grabbing everything they see. At first it is cute so we let them pick out an item, but then they look down the next aisle and want another and another and another. Soon we hear ourselves saying “no, then no you want too much, then finally, if you ask for another thing, I’m going to put everything back.”
I know my daughter’s voracious wanting began to bring up all the times I didn’t get what I wanted. I was told, many times, how selfish I was for wanting so much. So, somewhere in me, I felt I had to teach her to shut down her wanting. Fortunately, I realized how innocent her wanting was and began to support it, even if I couldn’t always fill the desire. I want her to ask and to know that she can have her desires fulfilled. I’ll do all that I can to support her in making them happen, even when I can’t be the one funding them.
Practice: Today, notice what happens, inside you, when you feel your child wants too much. Notice if you inadvertently try to teach her to want less. Try opening, allowing her to want, without thinking you have to be the one to fill those desires.