Joy Based Parenting: Can I do it?

I’m always amazed when my daughter asks if she can do something or not. She still looks to see if her actions are ok with me. Even though it feels good to be asked, I also know that looking to me for the answer doesn’t foster her own knowing. So, when I am in a mindful space, I pause for a minute, when she asks, and pose the question back to her. How do you feel about doing it?

Often she doesn’t know and yet when I sit with her and encourage her to check in she often knows exactly what she needs. Slowing down enough to make space for her to find her own internal wisdom is a practice. It is definitely easier to tell her what I think is right or wrong. Unfortunately, my right or wrong answer is coming from my own internal perceptions and doesn’t make room for her own intuitive knowing.

Giving myself the space to be open and listen allows her to go deeper inside to find her own knowing.

Practice: Today become aware when your child asks you if they can do something or not. Instead of answering immediately yes or no see if you can pause and pose the question back to your child. Make space to see what their own internal decision tells them. You may still feel the need to say no and yet encouraging them to check in with their own internal knowing is a wonderful practice.