How many of us feel burdened and afraid of disappointing someone we love? The weight of disappointment is heavy and covers the inherent joy that we are! When feeling our disappointment, in relation to our child, we must explore our expectation on them to meet our needs. When they don’t we may feel our disappointment. Feeling it is one thing, and yet telling our child they disappointed us is laying our burden on them.
Remember, our children are not purposely trying to thwart our needs. They are doing the best they can to get their own needs met and often those needs are very different than ours. When we strong arm them, through disappointment, to make our needs MORE important than theirs it creates confusion inside. They begin to usurp their own needs to get the love they depend on. Over time, they may create a false belief which mask their pure joy. Believing they are a disappointment they may begin to reject their needs in favor of ours. Trying to get their needs met, they may become passive aggressive or self-reliant, all ways of separating from joy.
Today, be aware when you feel your disappointment in relation to your child. Instead of telling your child they disappointed you, see if you can sit with yourself and truly see that your child is not responsible for your happiness. Give them the gift of releasing them from your disappointment and feel the weight lift revealing true joy!