In my dreams, last night, this phrase kept going over and over in my head. “My way or the highway” How many times I’ve felt this when my strong willed daughter says, “no” to just about everything I ask. I tend to get so frustrated, at some point, I pull out my BIG energy and take the stance “My way or the Highway”. My energy gets dense and strong and immovable. In those moments, I can’t do anything except hold tight to my STAND.
There is absolutely no space for her stance and I use my “power” to over-power her. From this stand, I can get her to move, and yet I do this by withdrawing my love which causes her to feel panicked and drop her stance. Even though I can convince myself this stance, gets me what I want, the price I pay is a loss of connection with joy. When my anger, at not being heard, is so overpowering, I can’t STOP and listen to my daughter. The only voice I can hear is my own.
Today, become aware of when you ask your child to do something and they say “no”. Check in with your energy and see if it is open and flowing or strong and immovable. Play with taking the “My way or the highway” stance from a lighter place and see if you can loosen up your grip of control for the sake of connection with your child.