So, let’s replay the water hose scene. Your child has found the hose for the first time. They are spraying everything in sight and laughing every time they get soaked. You look out and notice. The first thought may be, I’ve got to get them to stop and yet instead of opening the door and yelling at him, you take a moment to breathe. You watch the feelings inside arise and tell the truth about them. They are just feelings and you don’t have to act on them. As you breathe, moving more into the moment, look out and see the delight in your child’s eyes. Take a moment to experience their delight and to check your desire to control their play.
As your triggered feelings begin to slow and you feel more peace arising, slowly open the door. See if you can honestly let your child know that you see how much fun they are having. If you can, go and join them, playing in the water as if you are discovering it for the first time. See if you can feel the joy and delight your child is feeling. Once you have joined with your child, and their joy, you will be able to influence the movement. Your child will experience your openness and delight and be much more receptive to the limits you want to set.