We found our way through 2020 and here we are in 2021!
Thank you for joining me in the deep inquiry toward a new way of parenting. I love sharing my insights and parenting experience. It gives me Purejoy.
I support you to deeply trust your experience and knowledge. Knowledge is a wonderful thing. I’ve read parenting books, spiritual books, therapy books, and I love knowledge. I’m always learning and growing.
However, in my parenting, trusting my experience more than my thinking or my knowledge, dropped me deeply into my heart knowing.
My head told me to do things that triggered resistance in my daughter. Thoughts such as – it was my responsibility to control her, that I knew what was best for her kept crowding out my heart knowing. It felt like we were always divided and at odds.
When I dropped into my heart, I recognized my daughter was not resistant to be resistant or to mess with me.
She wasn’t defiant when I relaxed and trusted the intuitive knowing from my being. She resisted when I expressed my stress, tightening my body, and living out of my mind instead of trusting my heart.
In our current situation, when the things we depended on have fallen away and life’s possibilities feel uncomfortably narrow, you may notice yourself tightening. If so, you’ll be more controlling in your parenting because you can’t really control what’s happening externally.
The other option? Relax, open and show up in the present moment with your child. How? When you notice resistance or defiance, ask yourself, in this moment am I parenting from what I think I’m supposed to do and what all the experts have told me that I need to do? Or am I listening to my heart?
Am I willing to see when my child is defiant and resistant, there’s something in their interior landscape that’s distressing, and it may have to do with me and how I’m choosing to be with them.
When my daughter expresses intense resistance, I PAUSE and check inside asking: where am I parenting from? Nine times out of ten, I’m parenting from my thoughts, from an agenda. I am refusing to be intimate with the moment. I forget to listen to the amazing, intuitive wisdom that tells me first and foremost, to meet my daughter in her heart’s vulnerability.
We were trained to trust concepts, experts, and our minds rather than meeting in the vulnerable intimacy of the heart.
There’s plenty of experts telling you what to do to control your children, to get them to behave. If that’s the path you’re following, great. Nothing wrong with that.
And yet you’re here to hear something more profound and truthful. Your heart is calling you to follow a different path. Your longing to have a more connected experience requires letting go of any barriers between your heart and your child’s.
This week notice when your child is saying no or you perceive them as giving you a hard time. PAUSE and check in with your body. Are you open? Are you available? Are you holding tight to an agenda, or your need for control?
If so, take a breath, offer yourself kindness, and open to the beautiful, loving energy of your heart – for you.
And then, extend that to your beautiful children.