In my last post we talked about parenting ‘in the moment’. Maybe you’ve had time to practice? How did that go?
If you had resistance to this concept that is really natural.
I noticed my resistance came from my mind. All these stories came up every time I had this new idea of dropping my concepts and ideas. I realized that all I knew about parenting came from my conditioning, from the template I had learned in my family and from all the books I had read. I had quite a file cabinet of information on how to parent.
I had resistance to trusting my inner wisdom, to dropping into my heart and meeting my child where she was at that moment. Judgement would come up: I’m letting her get away with stuff, I’m wimpy, I’m permissive.
Instead of staying with my heart and embracing the vulnerability of not knowing exactly how to be, I kept going to my head and getting more and more rigid. And in my rigidity it appeared as if my daughter was causing my pain. She was causing me to be rigid and I needed to get her in line.
So I would pull out my file cabinet of traditional parenting techniques and try them, and they always went ‘south’. She didn’t get the memo that she was supposed to follow all the guidance right from my mind.
Dropping into your heart is not so much for your child at first, but for yourself. Meeting yourself where you are with incredible kindness opens a different door. This is hard for the mind because the mind so wants to be right.
When I began the work of dropping into my heart for myself, through my SafeSeat practice, I began to open my heart to my daughter. And then I was able to meet the resistance that was protecting my vulnerability and offer it loving kindness.