Hearing the word innocence in adulthood, what comes up?
I imagine a curious, experiencing everything for the first time, innocent from conclusions or the meaning of anything.
Looking through my conditioned adult lens I imagine acting childish and relinquishing responsibility for being a good parent. Negating the innocent seeing that is still available from my true self, I see through the lens of “right” or “wrong”.
My early history, my parenting template, and the hordes of books I read led to judgments and ideas about how, who, where, and when my daughter should be or not be. Instead of innocence, I saw manipulative and threatening behavior.
My stories and beliefs masked my beautiful innocence since I was determined not to seem childish. As a child, I’d heard over and over that, I was overly innocent and was encouraged to grow up and see the world for what it was. DANGEROUS! Slowly, protecting and masking my innocence became a survival strategy.
Innocence went underground and acting competent and responsible took the reins. Can you relate?
Have you noticed how challenging it is to read people’s mood or intention while masked up? Do you notice less desire to connect therefore creating more distance from seeing the innocent beautiful smile of another human?
What would it feel like to touch into the innocence you so wisely hid away? Childlike not childish innocence, free of judgment, meaning, or conclusions is free from doing “it” right or wrong. It is fueled by curiosity and wonder.
Seeing my child’s behavior through the eyes of innocence shifted my perspective and therefore my behavior. When I perceived her behavior as threatening or manipulative I believed it was DANGEROUS. And yet this way of perceiving was about my fear of somehow being taken advantage of. Protecting my innocence instead of honoring the gift skewed the true view of my precious child.
Weekly Purejoy practice:
Every time you notice judging of your child’s behavior, coming to a conclusion, or ascribing meaning, take a moment gently placing it over to the side saying, yeah, maybe that’s true. Try putting on different “glasses” seeing through a mature innocence.
Be open to seeing your child is not “doing” something to you. Actually, It’s not about you at all.