I was in the middle of the kid’s leggings section of Target with my girls the other day – a feelings rich place for all of us.
I knew we weren’t the only ones- I related to another mama who had the same agenda as me, get in there, get the things we need, get out.
Through my Purejoy journey- I’ve stepped into taking responsibility for my feelings while checking in with my girls and asking them what their desires are and then opening to the possibility that we can all get a little bit of what we want- it’s been connecting.
But this particular day it was feeling extra wild.
Noticing how tense I felt I checked in with my own feelings- when I heard the other mama- whose kiddo was starting to cry – ask, what’s wrong?
Because I was already in my Target version of SafeSeat on the go- I heard those two words- very clear- from a different place, from safety.
The kiddo was having a feeling, expressing it- and the question- what’s wrong?
I feel it in me too- what’s wrong?
Then hearing another part of myself inside- what if nothing is ‘wrong’?
What if the kiddo is ok? What if I’m ok?
Over the next few weeks as I moved into inquiry mode – I noticed what happened when I thought and said, what’s wrong?
I heard other parents saying it too- my partner, my friend, a teacher- I noticed how common it was to go straight to what’s wrong? I noticed all the times I did it too.
So I did an experiment- I took the other side- I said, what’s right? And I felt into that too.
In opening to my curiosity, a deeper thing happened. The question became: what is here?
Nothing wrong or bad.
Nothing right or good.
Just what is.
The kids are ok!
They are so fine with feeling, expressing, and owning what is present for them in the moment.
I started trying out their wisdom- I’m having a feeling, there is nothing wrong or bad, or good and right.
Just a moment, of feeling.
I notice giving myself a pause- to recognize the feeling, and then I can choose to show up in the moment in my adult self.
Now going back to the original question- of ‘what’s wrong?’ I realize the projection of my own discomfort on my kids and I can see that my capacity for those feelings has grown.
Check it out this week- do you find yourself saying ‘what’s wrong?’ or “this isn’t right? What is present for you if the kids are ok! -no matter what you perceive about their moment.