As a young child, I vividly remember going to the beach. It was a place where all my troubles dropped away and I felt connected to my sister in a way that didn’t happen at home. We would search, for hours, for shells to take back and share with all our friends. Each one, had a magical story attached to it and through our imaginations we entered into a magical world with each other. In this world, there was all the love and understanding we needed. We were valued for who we were and there were no expectations that we be different, to please someone else. There was no competition for the love that we both so desperately needed. It seemed that the ocean, filled that need and therefore we could connect in joy.
When I am feeling depleted and at the end of my rope, with parenting, I try to remember those times. For, when I am nourished and filled with love, I am able to skip and play with my daughter, knowing this is the connection we are both seeking. It is my responsibility to know my own inner workings and know when and how to nourish myself when depleted.
Being a single parent, and being on 24/7 has taught me a lot about how I can focus on what is not happening instead of seeing what is right in front of my face. Joy, is always before me, if I choose to see my daughter through my loving eyes. She truly is a “joy bug” and yet my perceptions can often make her someone who is thwarting my need. Letting go and seeing the “joy” and “love she is always brings me back to my true Self.