I often contemplate these words. What does it mean to trust myself instead of putting my trust in someone or something outside? What I have learned is that no matter what I am hearing, from the outside, I still need to go inside and see what my guidance says.
When I first started the parenting journey I read every book, I could get my hands on, to learn the “correct” way to parent. Since I didn’t have the easiest relationship, with my mom, I wanted to make sure I knew how to connect with my daughter. The more I read, the more I got confused. I would try this method and that method but they all seemed to backfire when I wasn’t trusting my instincts.
I learned that most of the books were in service to getting my daughter to behave. They all rubbed me a little wrong but I wasn’t sure why. I definitely felt discomfort when I perceived my daughter misbehaving, especially in public, but when I tried to “get” her to behave through controlling methods we both lost. Our relationship suffered, and I always felt bad afterward.
So, at some point, after a lot of pain and suffering, I decided to pitch all the well seasoned advice and trust myself. It was extremely challenging because I got a lot of feedback that I was ruining my daughter. I heard she was going to be a heathen, she was going to control me and she would grow up to be a disrespectful, spoiled child. I was actually told, by close friends and family that I was a “bad” mother. OWWWW!
What happened was I hunkered down and decided it was time for the rubber to meet the rode. I had to trust my guidance and let go of how it was going to turn out. It was definitely a leap of faith and let me tell you it was well worth the leap. Today, I can’t even describe the joy I experience as a parent. My daughter is amazing and our relationship is strong and vital. I still “act out” when I’m stressed but thankfully my daughter is forgiving and we always find our way back home
Practice: Remember, even after hearing experts advice you can still check in and see if it resonates with your inner guidance. Experts are experts in teaching their belief system and it may not be true for you. You have an amazing GPS inside that will guide you on the parenting journey. All you have to do is turn it on!