I used to worry a lot!
The funny thing about it is that when I got worried- I would barge into their experience with judgement and concern- and flood them with my panic!
It didn’t come off as love to them.
My worry would get triggered by something I read, or something I heard, or sometimes straight out of nowhere- out of my wandering mind.
But the other night I got to practice with worry- in the present.
I have 5 kids. One of them is old enough that a friend was stopping by to pick him up.
The others had an idea, and even a thing to say or two, about what was happening.
They were (all four of them) grouped in the window, watching and pointing- I was there too, watching him go.
One ran out to the road and threw in a few last words- a heckle of sorts.
Immediately!
I was embarrassed, I felt my energy starting to go out- to want to control.
I noticed.
I paused.
I went into observation mode.
I stayed with the vulnerable parts in me that were saying- he’s going to get upset!
I was worried- that he would be embarrassed of his siblings.
I was anxious that maybe I should inject myself in the moment and make them stop.
This time I stayed with me- observing.
Nothing wrong or bad, here. No danger.
I stayed with me all evening- wondering, breathing- holding the energy that is mine.
Feeling vulnerable and offering kindness to myself!
I SafeSeated!
Of course you want your kiddos to get along!
Of course you want him to have his freedom!
Of course you want the best for all of them!
You love them so much!!!
And I committed to checking out my story- when the feelings had passed.
The next morning I asked him- how was that for you?
To my amazement- he said, HILARIOUS!
I stay with that too- to my surprise!
Reflecting- if I had interjected myself and stopped the scene, and inserted my worry to all of them he would have missed experiencing the joy and HILARITY of his siblings!
PUREJOY!
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