What inspires you in your parenting? Someone asked what inspires me and it brought a big smile to my face. How do I keep moving forward with the inspiration they asked? What drives me to keep opening my heart daily?
The truth is it is an honor and a privilege to parent my young adult daughter. She didn’t ask me to adopt her. I chose to adopt her and every day, even though I’ve been challenged over and over, I bow down to the opportunity to be her mother. What a gift I’ve been offered.
I was 44 years old when I adopted her and was in some ways set in my ways. I’d had all the freedom to live my life however I wanted and all of a sudden I was faced with the opportunity to experience that I wasn’t the center of the universe. I chose to see the world through my daughter’s eyes and it was an eye-opener for sure. I got the chance to live in the “present” moment and let me tell you it was HARD.
As an adult, I prided myself on living in the present moment, and yet once I was a parent all my thoughts were focused on the future. Who will she become? Will she be successful? Will she fit in? On and on my mind took over fantasizing about the future forcing me to leave the precious present moment my child was so willing to show me.
Relaxing I offered myself the opportunity to see through her eyes. Letting go of my agenda I opened to the exquisite feeling of living in the moment. Instead of trying to project my perceptions on my daughter, I entered into hers. Miraculously, I saw she had her own timing, rhythm and knowing of herself. Why would I want to take this away? Why would I want her to enter my world of competition and lack?
I was given this blessing to enter the world of another recognizing her unique expression and offering it to the world. Why would I want her to “think” the way I did? Instead, I opened the door to listening to her views, watching how she experienced the world and I was filled with amazement.
I realized needing my child to end up a certain way to justify my efforts placed the joy of being her mother in the outcome instead of the day-to-day thing I got to do which was witnessing her unique brilliance.
Give it a try.
This week, imagine putting on the glasses of each of your children seeing the world through their eyes.
Without judgment, see if you are willing to discover the world they see asking questions and being curious.
Even though it might not match your perception open to the wonder of a new view. It might trigger discomfort and if it does welcome this curiously asking yourself if your view is the “right” view or are you willing to open to a new possibility. Open to the wonder of a new view giving yourself the experience of Purejoy.